It's true...Charlie convinced me to join a running group...aptly named, "Couch to 5K" subtitled, "for the sedentary." Okay, that probably isn't accurate-but it is true. I'm still not entirely sure how or why I agreed to it-probably Charlie's big hazel puppy dog eyes as he told me how fun and cool it was to join one of these groups. I can't resist those puppy dog eyes. We've done 2 group runs so far and I've concluded the following:
1) My lifelong practice of only running when chased has not prepared me for this and,
2) I really hate running.
But, hope is not lost. I keep being promised endorphins-and I promise everyone else, mine left a long time ago for greener pastures. I told Charlie one endorphin might find me when this is all over. So far, s/he has stayed in hiding-probably doesn't want to get its hopes up.
Run 1: We are the guinea pigs for this type of running group (the Dallas Running Club typically only does 1/2 marathon/full marathon training) as those of us standing around the parking lot waiting for our instructions discovered. And, those organizing it weren't really prepared for what to do. They sort of had a plan-but how the plan was executed was different for each "pace leader." Too many cooks in the kitchen was my impression. Oh, and they don't speak "couch." This is a bunch of very experienced runners trying to talk to a bunch of sedentary folks. Well, that's not entirely true-a good chunk of the group were "injured runners who want to take it easy." I think the organizers latched onto them-ooh, they know how to run-so let's just talk to them and run w/ them. And, they did just that-but dragged our sorry sedentary butts with them. They said we'd do run/walks and then they'd "figure out where everyone falls." I ran for a bit-but then, was like, okay, I might die-so I'm going to walk. I'd run here and there in between-but I was soooo slow. Which honestly-as a walker-I think it's more comfortable to walk briskly than run really slow-it's more comfortable. But, I'm trying to become a runner, so I tried to run ("tried" being the operative word). The whole time my endorphins stayed away and Molly bitterness remained-I couldn't figure out why anyone thinks it's fun-it's awful. Truly awful. I'm fine walking-that's fun and interesting for me-and I can think about stuff easily. But running I'm totally stuck in the fact that I'm running..."I'm running...I'm running...I'm running...oh god I'm running...please make it stop...running sucks...I'm running." So, after Wednesday I was seriously questioning my continuation with the group. They do support walkers-but I can walk a 5K...I can walk a 10k...I've walked a marathon. So, joining a group to walk is weird.
Run 2 (this morning): Preface to this morning-We all get an email that basically sums up this: "Wednesday was a clusterf*ck and we know it-we now have a plan of attack to focus on those who truly are beginners. And, if you're not a beginner, then get the f' out). Molly: <Sigh of relief> Disorganization makes me crazy-but their recognizing it and planning to fix it-brought peace to my valley.
Saturday morning: The alarm goes off at 6am...why?!?! I drag out of bed a few minutes later, get dressed, pull my hair into a hairscarf and we head out to the mess that is running group. I had talked my friend Henry into joining-and today was going to be his first run w/ us (he's one of those injured a-holes who's trying to get back into shape after a severe knee injury)---he calls as we're about to park and says, "I'm here, but call me when you get here b/c these people are scary." I concurred. Charlie disagreed. I said it's because you're one of "them." To which he responded, "One of us! One of us!" shivers went down my spine. The really good group (aka Charlie's running team) took off ahead of us and the leaders explained how today was going to work-a plan to only focus on beginners (yay!) and how to do that (yay!). And how not to die, kind of. They sort of found their "Couch" speak. But then they wanted everyone to be all cheery and like, "YEAH! Let's do it!" Well, they do forget they are dealing with the Sedentary. We generally don't do mornings well and we certainly don't get up early to exercise. They don't know us at all! (The poor guy tried like 3x to get us to whoop-he just doesn't get it). Poor Henry had to be my audience as I commented about the Sedentary-luckily I made some women standing next to me laugh-phew, they didn't think I was too bitter. But seriously-do not make me cheer. I will do the run-but let me do it quietly. And, you should do it quietly too mister leader. Shut the f' up until 15 minutes in. Seriously. The whistle will do fine when it's time to up the pace. (Okay, maybe I am a little bitter-but those were internal dialogues-I'm not trying to get voted off of their running island-not yet at least).
But, today did go much better. I'm still questioning my life as a runner. I felt much better with it today-but I still hated every second that I was running-however, maybe with time I'll at least get used to it? My endorphin friend is still in hiding. Perhaps I'll ply it out with some Wii Boxing later?
So, in conclusion, I've joined a running group, I hate running-but I have hope that maybe I'll not hate it with time? And Charlie and I get to do something sort of together fairly regularly (like in the car over to the running start-I'll never catch up to him). And, if nothing else-it'll give me plenty of fodder for anecdotes for the summer.
