So, as I think everyone who reads this probably knows, our Flower girl has passed on to greener yards and longer leashes. And, her leaving us has probably caused a much bigger hole than either of us ever could have imagined. She was our girl. Hours and hours of stories, conversations, and jokes revolve around that dog. Even the name of this blog is based on her. It's been quite a transition. And, her illness story is haunting me and the title of this post won't get out of my head-so I figured I needed to sit down and write it out to hopefully give me some peace. This is Molly by the way.
It all started with a cough. Like me, Flower had been conflicted with allergies. Every summer I knew if I was feeling bad from them, she was too. If my eyes were itchy, I could look over and see her eyes were red. If I was having trouble breathing outside or coughing, I knew it was only a matter of time before she'd have the same trouble. We were partners in our misery. This summer was different. She picked up a new cough-a different cough. It would stop her in her tracks-almost a backward snort of air and her entire body would tense up and spasm. Terrible to watch. I could massage her throat and calm her down for a minute-but because she's a spaz, she'd wind herself up again and start it all over again. Those were the last of her normal, hyper days (foreshadowing!). So, I took her to the vet to make sure she didn't somehow pick up kennel cough or something (no idea how-she's vaccinated and hadn't been kenneled in over a year). The vet thought it could be allergies or a possible respiratory infection, so on antibiotics she went...oh, and prednisone in case she was allergic. He also, for the 45th time (hyperbole!) recommended getting her teeth cleaned that week since it COULD be a cause for the cough. And we could kill two birds with one stone since she'd have to be on antibiotics for a few days before the cleaning. AND he could see her throat better to make sure there wasn't something more devious going on with the cough. This was back in late July.
Vet Visit 2: So, we went in for the teeth cleaning. Standard stuff-the vet reported that everything looked great and he was surprised that her teeth were in such good shape. Excellent. In the meantime, her cough was still around-just not as bad. So, I thought we were on the road back to good health. When I brought her home I noticed that her nose had a big dent or divot in it. It started to straighten out -so she probably honestly just fell asleep against the kennel bars or something. But this is seriously the crazy attention I paid to this dog :) But, other than the nose, I noticed she wasn't perking back up like she was supposed to after the sedation wore off. She was kind of back to normal, but not really. Her energy was really low-which is soooo not Flower. After about 3 days I noticed blood coming out of her left nostril. It was really light and I attributed it to the dent I had seen thinking it was maybe a cut or something. But, then it didn't stop bleeding and her nose started running a bit and she was leaving little snot & blood dots on the carpet. And her eye started to get runny-like SUPER allergies-more than she's ever done in the past. Back to the vet we go.
Vet visit 3: The vet didn't seem too concerned since the bleeding was so light, but did mention the possibility of a tumor or nasal fungus since dogs generally do not bleed from the nose otherwise. He was thinking it was maybe still the respiratory infection (she still had the cough, her nose was runny and bloody, and she had a runny eye) so put her on a stronger antibiotic for 10 days. While on the antibiotic, she still didn't get her energy back and the runny nose got to the point where she couldn't really breathe well-we'd hear her at night trying to sleep-which is tough for dogs. She could breathe through her mouth when sitting up-but laying down, that's a bit trickier. So, after 10 days, we headed back to the vet.
Vet visit 4: My vet was perplexed. He could not figure out why she was bleeding and snotting all over the place. The cough was almost gone by then, but had been replaced with the messiest sneezes ever. Which, she did have the biggest grossest sneeze fit ever while the vet was looking at her nose-he was covered, the vet tech was covered, the table was covered, I even got hit from the other side of the room. Gross. But, during this examination he discovered that she had an abscessed tooth in the front that was likely causing the infection in the nose. He wanted to remove it asap. As in the next day.
Vet visit 5: Tooth Removal Day! I was a little nervous about her going back under anesthesia since she had JUST done it. And, she was sick to boot. But, they were confident she'd be fine. So, I dropped her off yet again. I picked her up that afternoon and she was a groggy crazy mess. They said she woke up right away and was making all kinds of crazy noises. That made me feel better-that's the dog I know and love! The vet gave me her tooth-it was NASTY. And he showed me how infected it was and said he was confident she'd start feeling better withing a few days and that the bleeding would stop in 3-5 days as the sutures healed. He said the infection had made a main line from the tooth up to the nasal cavity-hence the bleeding and her general lethargy. He had some pain meds for her and instructions for food for the healing time of 10 days. I was so relieved. I KNEW she was finally going to be healthy again. This was early September. She was close to normal within a day-her energy, her general disposition, etc. She was bleeding some-but it wasn't affecting her breathing as badly. We had one scare when she bled A LOT while taking a nap. I panicked. It was pure red blood and very heavy-and was running into her mouth. We went to the ER Vet in a rush. The vet checked it out and said she looked fine that it was probably just a clot clearing from the suture and she'd be fine soon. And he didn't charge us (bonus b/c she was getting quite pricey at this point). At about day 6 we dropped her off at Bizzy and Bill's so Charlie and I could head off to California for Tara & Paul's wedding. We had been nervous about leaving her behind while she was sick, but felt good after the tooth was removed. She was acting very normal, so we were fine dropping her off. During our trip, Flower had a follow-up appointment with the vet to make sure her tooth was healing and the infection was clearing up. She got a clear bill of health-but she was still bleeding a bit-so the vet advised to bring her back if it didn't stop within in 5 days. We picked her from Cali a few days later and she wasn't feeling well again. Bizzy said she started getting snotty again the day or so before and was starting to wear down again. I couldn't believe. Within another day the snot had moved to both nostrils essentially cutting off all nose breathing for her. And, the bleeding was still there. I know you can sense this coming-Back to the vet!
Vet visit 6: Vet was concerned and unsure about the problem. He took a culture to figure out the exact infection. But, he was seriously concerned about a tumor that was causing the secondary infections. He wanted to clear the infection so we could get a clear xray. More antibiotics-for 3 weeks. He determined from the culture that she had a nasty staph infection. He thought knocking out the infection might be our best bet at diagnosis. He said if the discharge had not stopped by the start of week 3, come back. By the end of the 2nd week the bleeding increased and the snot decreased. She would have these bouts of really heavy thick bleeding. One day it was really bad and she was covered in it when she came in off the balcony. I panicked and call the vet in tears. He was calm and sympathetic but advised that infections sometimes cause increased blood flow to help get more blood cells there-so not to worry just yet. He advised to keep her on the antibiotics for another week, then bring her back for xrays. I hated doing that-but trusted his knowledge. Week 3 ended and yes, the snot was gone-but the runny eye was still happening and she was bleeding in earnest-and started in the other nostril. I called the vet and told him what was going on and he referred me to an internal medicine specialist for an MRI or CAT scan instead of just an xray. That was Monday 10/12. I made an appointment at the specialist for Tuesday 10/13. The bleeding was getting heavier by the minute-her paws were covered in it. I tried to keep her clean as much as possible. Before going to bed Charlie and I cleaned her up as best we could and I got a lick on the face. She had given me a kiss in weeks because she really just didn't feel well. It made my night.
Vet visit 7-to the specialist we go!: For the first time in months, she slept in bed with us most of the night. I was shocked-she would sleep on the floor because she could breathe easier. (Oh, and yes our apartment looked like a crime scene-we couldn't keep up with the bleeding after a while). That morning there was so much blood on the floor and in the bed I couldn't get ready fast enough to get her to the appointment. The blood had soaked through the thick converter, sheets, and mattress. It was disturbing to say the least. And, she just looked so sad. Her mouth was covered with it so I knew she was swallowing some of it. It broke my heart. Charlie had taken the morning off to go to the specialist with us since we were certain we were getting bad news. . The staff was so nice-and didn't seem too worried about her bleeding all over. They made us comfortable immediately and got us relaxed. But, the vet knew just by looking at her that she more than likely did have a tumor. She asked about her face and any changes to the structure-and I said, yes, I think so. Her face just looks really drawn. She said, with a sigh, yes, nasal tumors cause facial structure to change. I burst into tears. I knew it was coming but couldn't stand it being true. She said they needed to be sure though and would need to do a MRI followed by a biopsy. Once they knew for sure we could come up with a treatment plan of radiation, etc. She wanted to keep her overnight to make sure she would be observed after everything and to give us a break from all the blood-but would call in late afternoon with a diagnosis. We left feeling really sad, but comfortable that we had a plan.
Skip to later that day-but earlier than I expected to hear from her. The vet was completely perplexed-her blood results were all wonky and didn't make sense. Basically it boiled down to her not being able to clot-and not being healthy enough to go through a MRI and biopsy. But, it also led her to believe it could be another cause-abdominal or intestinal problems. She was going to do a slew of tests and give her some blood transfusions and call me back.
A few hours later-call back. She was even more confused-the rest of her body was healthy-no signs of cancer or growths anywhere else-which took her back to the nasal tumor. But, she was worried because the bleeding was not stopping and was a flow (which to back track-I could not have stressed the amount of bleeding more every time I went to a visit-but they all-my normal vet and the specialist-acted like I was overselling it. No people! She was flowing blood out of her face-Pay attention to me please!) so she wanted to get her a transfusion, which would help with that-and would hopefully balance her blood counts again. She said I could come visit Flower. So, I did.
This image haunts me the most-but helps me the most too. She was in the ICU in a kennel hooked up to a transfusion-But, she stood up when she heard my voice-and was waggling her butt with the little energy she had with her head down (her happy dance when one of us would get home)-she was so happy I was there. I sat with her on the floor for a while and rubbed her down-she was a bloody mess. At home I could keep her mostly clean-but at the ICU she'd been on sedatives and was in a kennel-so she was absolutely caked in it. The vet tech sat with me and helped me clean her up a bit-which was sweet. She started to fall asleep on the ground with me, so I helped the nurse get her back in her kennel (that silly woman wanted to put her on a lead to put her back in-she's my good girl-all you have to say is, "kennel up!" and in she goes-which while she was so sad to do it-she went back in. The nurse said I could come back in the morning if I wanted.
Charlie and I were nervous and worried, but felt comfortable with her being in the vet ICU. We went to bed and slept a couple of hours. Around 1:15am I was jolted by my phone. I had a brief thought, ugh, I'm not answering that-rude much? But then woke up and thought-oh god. The vet. I answered and it was indeed our vet. She was so apologetic for calling so late, but felt like she needed to. I assured her that yes she should call. She informed us that Flower had suffered a seizure, slipped into sleep, and died. She said her theory is that it was indeed a nasal tumor that caused a bleeding disorder (ie no clotting) and that it caused a brain bleed-which caused the seizure. She seemed genuinely upset by it. She said she'd go in in the morning and would call with more information. Needless to say, sleep didn't happen that night. It finally found us for a brief couple of hours around 6ish.
The specialist called and my regular vet called (separately) and both were shocked by the bleeding disorder since the same test was done for the tooth extraction and she was fine. They said she wasn't anemic either which was confusing. They both concurred that it more than likely was a tumor that caused the bleeding disorder. In my obsessing over it all-almost everything I saw online concurs. A lot of the sites said that nasal tumors spread to the brain and cause seizures. I hate that we don't know for sure. But, I feel like I have to trust the vets or I'll never stop obsessing. It all started with a cough...
I'm so sorry to dump that all out everyone! I really am! BUT, I needed it. I promise a nice funny post about our Flower dog right after this one :) You laugh, you'll cringe, you maybe even cry a little-but it'll be much better!
